Waiting This Out

Good things have been happening lately around here.  Really good things and bad things.  Like four baby chicks hatching and three surviving.  The third one to hatch had a herniated yolk.  It was such a bad case there was really nothing I could do.  For once I didn't really feel anything.  The baby chick suffered then finally died.  No tears ...no nothing.  Not like me at all.

A baby chick with a herniated yolk just seemed sad.  Sad....flat sad.  No tears sad.  Lately life has seemed flat.  It's not flat.  It's not flat at all....it just seems that way  Sometimes life seems flat.   At the very same time my baby chick struggled for breath my Father-In-Law was doing the same thing.

We got the call on the morning of my 40th birthday.  Paw Paw wasn't responding.  He never did revive to any great degree.  Although his eyes and his mouth tried to move to tell us something.  Maybe that he heard us?  Maybe he wanted to tell us what was wrong.  He died eight days later.  He lived 83 years.  83 years.  Not long, but long.  I knew him 20 years.  Long, but not long.

I have shaken the flat feeling....somewhat....shake, shake, shake.  My brain will over rule the emotions that I feel soon.  I just have to sit, be quiet, and wait this out.